


untitled

by supercilious



Category: Metal Gear Solid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-10
Updated: 2012-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 08:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercilious/pseuds/supercilious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Learning to adjust to his new body, preparing to leave his life behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	untitled

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Юстировка](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1792633) by [naid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/naid/pseuds/naid)



> anon request: " can i have raiden adjusting to his new body (i know how you love cyborgs and angst)"

> _These aren’t his lungs_.
> 
> Sometimes, when he’s got nothing else to do, suddenly he becomes aware of _everything_ and it’s all he can think.
> 
> _These aren’t his lungs. This isn’t his body_.
> 
> He flexes a hand tentatively, trying to gauge how much strength he has now. One morning they’d given him a glass of water and it shattered in his hand before he’d lifted it halfway to his face. Whatever the Patriots had been hoping to achieve with him had been cut short when Big Mama broke him out and the doctor said it showed. In small ways— apparently Raiden should’ve intuitively known his limits. Should know how to hold things without breaking them.
> 
> (He disagrees. ‘Cause not once in his life before now has that ever been a risk. Can’t think of a time in his life where he could rip the door off a car just because he wasn’t paying enough attention. But what did he know? He wasn’t ever anything more than a soldier.)
> 
> It’s hard for him to figure out how to adjust to something so… Unreal. Nanomachines had _improved_ him, but this was like comparing a knife to a cannon, and half the time all he could _really_ think about is how much it hurts. _God_ sometimes it hurt _so much_ he could barely stand to be alive, and he had no idea how much was for real and how much was in his head. Every breath made him want to _scream_ because he was exhausted and in agony and _all_ _he wanted_ was to go home and apologise to Rose for the way he left and--
> 
> Sometimes, he wakes up with teary eyes and a raw throat. Embarrassed, but no one mentions it and neither does he. Never remembers his dreams, but he’s sure he knows what they are anyway.
> 
> The life he always wanted, being taken from him.
> 
> Over
> 
> and over again.
> 
> Because that’s all he has left.


End file.
